A valve cover, please!

I've never seen this customer before - and he has a big request, because his bike is in danger of falling apart immediately: It's missing a valve cover. The brief explanation that it's not that important and that I've been riding happily without a valve cover for over thirty years: pure mistrust, pure disbelief from the customer! It's always entertaining to see how important these valve covers are to some customers. How often have I heard that they keep the air in the hose. Valve covers are by far the most overrated parts on a bike. Incidentally, the valve covers are really annoying: as they keep the air in the tube, you also have to fix them in place with a screw clamp. By the way: In our store, everyone gets new valve covers free of charge. If possible, in the right shape and color. And as these covers are so important, they also make customers immensely happy.

The hose paranoiacs

I've heard countless stories about why the hose is flat. These stories are long - and incredibly boring because they are often simply wrong (more on this a few sentences later). In these stories, the annoying neighbor and the evil janitor have to act as valve sabotagers. The paranoia at Platten is and remains impressive. Unloved employees are suspected of airing out. The imaginary bike hater is suspected of scattering broken glass. We listen to the paranoia story as briefly as possible and then dismantle the inner tube. Lo and behold: the rim tape has slipped, the exposed spoke hole in the rim has worn through the inner tube. And also a bit of sanity.

Please right now!

The "right now" customer prefers the busiest business hours. They bring parts with them and want them fitted now, and only now. When I explain that the workshop calendar is full to bursting and that immediate service is not possible right now, he looks at me as if the Antichrist has just appeared to him. The funniest part is when the "right now" customer explains to the other customers in the store how bad the service is here.

The moochers

The gears were no longer precise - and the bike had only recently been serviced. Then it's worth taking a look at the operating software and the speedometer, which show that the service was 10 months ago and the bike now has 4,500 kilometers more on it. You can remain as objective as you like, it's still a bit embarrassing.

The non-collectors

Of course, we all have a lot to do and more appointments than we would like. So it can sometimes take longer to collect the bike. We plan for that in terms of space. It's especially fun when a customer makes an appointment after several friendly reminders: We're only open from Tuesday to Saturday, and being closed on Mondays and having a one-hour lunch break is really impractical. I then simply give him a flyer for our uncomplicated pick-up and delivery service (which he didn't want to take advantage of when accepting the repair).

The customer with the neighbor

Customers who are indoctrinated by their neighbor or an employee are a lot of fun. This know-it-all rides a marathon or over an Alpine pass once a year, and this top performance naturally legitimizes them. If this neighbor or employee tells you that a mechanical disc brake is much better than a hydraulic disc brake, then the advice sometimes gets a little exhausting. Because marathons and mountain passes naturally bring much more expertise and experience than thousands of bikes sold and thousands of bikes serviced...

The test believers

119 points! Test victory! Super verdict! No experience, no test drive, no reason can help. This customer is actually simple and straightforward, because he simply wants what XY magazine recommends. However, it's a shame that this faith in testing causes them to put their blinkers on - and the customer misses out on products or bikes that could actually be much better suited to their needs.

The phone culprit

The brake line is torn and the brake disk is dragging. "How much will it cost?" - the most popular question on the phone. When I point out that I can only give an inadequate answer from the boat, there is usually a long silence and then soon the same question again: "But how much does it cost?". My comment that quoting an amount is unprofessional and inaccurate given the facts doesn't make me any more popular. The suggestion that we look at the bike on site so that we can provide a concrete estimate in the store shortly leads the customer to the store in an estimated half. And how I wish I knew what would happen to the other half!

The after-hours questioner

It's Saturday, the place is packed. The phone rings cheerfully (the Simpsons tune still puts you in a good mood even after several years). The good mood is soon over, because I am kindly asked about the opening hours. Of course, I give the information in a friendly manner, but I feel like shouting into the receiver: The year 1988 was a few days ago! Please check our website or Google! I'm curious to see when the digital transformation has progressed to the point where I no longer answer opening hours calls.